Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
