OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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