Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
