Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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