they need to just BURY HIM!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
