I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
