I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
