just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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