why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
