I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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