I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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