Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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