we're blogging at a bar
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize