I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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