nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize