My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize