why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hippo gnu deer
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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