He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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