Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
