Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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