Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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