I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
