I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
