I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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