Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
