If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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