That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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