that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
