i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize