I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
