And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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