What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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