i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
