her facebook's as public as her vagina
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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