Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
