why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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