hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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