I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
ttyl tear gas
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
