Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
