she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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