Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
