I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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