well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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