I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
