she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
