I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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