We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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