so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
