Already got asked if we're dating
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
