He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
