i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
