The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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