I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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