Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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