its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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