i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
