I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
