But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize