It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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