i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
