FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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