hell yes lets make some ravioli
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
