why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Walk of Shame today included voting.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize