i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
