theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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