Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
