I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
