Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
