U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he thought i was a dude.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
