So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
