So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
