Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
