Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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