office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize