TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
